I am about to get real personal. I am about to tell you all the things that cut me deeply over the years. These are not things to get pity for or for people to feel bad. But we are talking about the Father heart of God this week, and these are the lies that the Lord is going to heal and restore me from. We were supposed to write down things that should have never been said to me or anyone. So please be praying for me this week as God shows me how deeply he loves me.

I was told that I would never make it in college
I was told that I am lazy
I was told that I have no potential
I was told that I walk funny
I was told that I am scrawny
Told that I was a “nigger”
Told that I would never be a good parent
Told I would always be a cheater
Told I never did anything for myself
Told that I was spoiled and ungrateful
Told I would bring the family farm down
Told I was not good with my hands
Told I was not worthy enough
Told that I thought I was to prideful
Told that I mumbled
Told that I would never amount to anything
Told that I was abandoned
Told that I was not wanted
Told that certain people deserve better
Told that I would get let go in the end
Told that I would not be a great teacher
Told that I would never be a speaker
Told my family was not worthy
Told my family felt sorry for me
Told that I am no longer someones brother

mighty men

Where are the godly men? Where the David’s, the Paul’s, and the Isaiah of old? Where are the men who are going to shape this generation? When are we men going to rise up and take on the mission? Look at David's mighty men. We can do the same thing, because we serve the same God. I want to be might men, because I am tired of the devil kicking my butt. I am tired of the lies and the attacks. I had a picture of my brother and me sitting in a room and us being equipped with the armor of God. I picture him and me asking each other "are you ready?" Not ready for a battle, but for a war! I see us standing up and the doors being opened. I picture us standing and then walking out. Caleb, me, whoever chooses to fight are not alone. For we serve an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent father. Hebrews 10:39 says "For we are not those who shrink back and are not destroyed, but those who have faith and preserve their souls." This is my prayer for my brother and the men of this country. I have a strong brother in Caleb Jon Zimmer, and i truly admire and love him. For 2 years Caleb challenged me to be a man, and to be the best. I miss him very much and i am excited for his journey. See Caleb has been hurt by many, but Caleb Zimmer does not shrink back, Caleb Zimmer is saved, and his soul is preserved! Caleb Zimmer, I know is doing just fine. I am so proud of him, and i know he is going to make echoes in this world. Caleb just step out of the water, be like the Caleb who went into the promise land with no doubt! For you are a mighty man, and you are wearing the full armor of God!

prayer support

I need prayer for wisdom, strength, finances, and continual restoration. I got presented with the opportunity to live with some of my closest friends this next school year. However, before I even get the chance to move in a would have already paid $1000 without even touching foot on U.S soil. I guess i am just scared sometimes because i quit so of my jobs to find out my true calling. I know God is all powerful but sometimes it scares me because eventually my funds will run out for paying for rent and i have no job. I cannot even apply for jobs while i am here so basically i got to make a decision about this house, and its been really testing me with rent payments and also no job. Bigger the roadblock i guess the bigger opportunity to watch God show his power! Also so far we have been talking a lot about leadership, and I have been very intrigued by it. I guess I have been really pushed to be a great leader for my family and also someday as a husband and a father. We spent two days talking about what makes a great husband, and it got me asking God to make me in the man he destined to be. I told God he can do complete surgery on me because, with Gods will i am hoping to marry a beautiful girl when i get back. I want to a man who keeps on finding new ways to keep her smiling and feeling beautiful. I have come to believe that it is very important that if your with someone, you are both dreaming together and aiming for God's heart and desires.

my dream

I want a world where kids can run the streets freely laughing. I want a world where kids dream of overcoming all obstacles. I want world that once again truly cries out for Jesus. I dream of a country where people can freely worship without being judged. I cry out for the visions of our churches to be restored. I plead for a country and world where women can truly feel beautiful and worthy without the pressures of societies. I pray for a generation of men who will fill the streets and churches praying for revival. I pray for the leaders of our nation to once again believe in the words "One Nation Under God." We serve a God who is lovely, just, and all powerful. To God be the glory, for one day he shall return and we will once again see earth shaken.
"For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land."

surrendering

so can i just say God restores all walls. Today we basically had an intervention for anyone to want healing. so today i went forward and everyone gathered around me. I told people that i wanted to be restored and i was getting burned out from carrying a huge load. The load was that i felt like i had to carry my siblings for the past 4 years because we were isolated because of our color. We experienced things that most people around us could not relate to so us children had to stick together. i especially felt guilty that i left abby for ywam because to her i have become her protector and best friend and i felt like i was abandoning her. I was scared that if i ever passed away who would be there to fight for them. I felt anger once again for adopting us because they set us up for persecution. But that was a lie from the devil. All a sudden people started praying for me and felt tears after tears fall out on the ground. All a sudden I felt like God said "brian i want to take this load from you, i want to be your siblings protector. He gave me an image of caleb, abby, and I and an angel was surrounding us with its wings saying you are protected. Then i got another image of my sister abby as a brand new babe, and God was the father holding her in her brand new baby blanket. All a sudden he kissed abby on the forehead and he said to me "brian i am abby's protector and i will watch over her now" All a sudden i felt God saying release them brian, release them. So one at a time i released my sister beth, then caleb, but i could not release abby. Then Jesus once again gave me the image of him holding abby, and all a sudden i got the strength and i said "lord i give you my best friend and the most precious thing i have in my life, and the holy spirit came upon me and i felt a peace that only heaven could bring. I know that caleb and abby are in my fathers care and that i can rest assure. I also forgave my parents and myself and i realized once again that my parents are my heroes! I do not have to be my siblings protector anymore because i have the Lord almighty holding my siblings in his hand. I truly believe God will use my family to touch lives throughout this world. For my family does not shrink back, and we are not destroyed. But we are the zimmers, and we are united and united we stand. We carry scars but are scars do not define us and shall not overcome us. I love you beth ann zimmer, i love you caleb jon zimmer, and i love you my beautiful sister, i love you my best friend, i love you my hero, i love you abby jo Zimmer

brokeness

this blog unlike the other ones will not be about hope and love it will be about emptiness and hate. tonight we went to the most dangerous place in Tijuana. On these streets there is drug addicts, drug dealers, prostitution, but worst off all child prostitution. We walked the streets praying for people and I saw addicts doing drugs which was disturbing. I saw women walk into hotels with men offering them sex, but the thing that wanted me to kill and destroy was the child prostitution. Picture your little brother or sister, or little child of 5-10 years of age. Then imagine how much love you have for them, and then imagine dropping them off at a hotel to get molested for years and years. This is what I saw, because I saw the children who were victims. I saw the hotel and the men who raped these boys and girls, and I had to just stand there and pray. I told myself that if i would have had a gun i would have gone in there and killed those men, because people like that deserve to burn in hell. But then i heard Jesus whisper I died for you to brian zimmer. It broke me because how can a God so perfect and so loving allow for his children to be ravaged over and over again. How could a mother or father be so desperate to sell their children to men who would rape them. Then I said God bring your wrath and justice, but i realized I to am full of sin. I too have caused wounds to my savior. I realized that God loves all people and I must forgive. This night has impacted me more than losing jon. More than any racism I have ever faced, and more than any horror i have been through. Tonight I was ashamed for complaining so much about my life here and there, because there are innocent children all over the world crying out for someone to rescue them.

continued healing!

After i shared my story the speaker asked if anyone wanted to receive more of the spirit. I have been baptized with the Holy Spirit but i felt a sense of God wanting me to receive more. I went up for prayer and the guy had the same vision of me delivering people. Oh boy was I ready to get filled with more of the Holy Spirit! As he was praying he said God wanted me to hear these words Isaiah 58:6-12, "Is this the fast that i choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? THen shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; hte glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and he will say, 'Here I am.' If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointign of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself for the hungary and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in." You see i have found my calling i am to bridge the gap between cultures on a national level. Now i do not know how that is going to happen or how I am going to get there. But I serve the Almighty God and all i have to do is be obedient.I feel and have been told that i am to bring the truth about injustice to not only schools, but political offices, and churches. For you see the most segregated place is the church. There has been injustice down to races and I know God wants me to bring the justice back into these institutions. To many people feel as though we are the victims. We all our victims of some kind of sort, but we need to bridge that gap. I told God i am willing, and now i am about to step into a calling that as a little boy my parents believed I would one day due!

true peace

i am about to get real personal. My 8th grade year i received some of the most spiritual and emotional wounds of my life. We were talking about interracial marriages, and up to this point in my life i did not think anything of it. The teacher proposed the question and all a sudden people started answering the question, and some students said their parents wouldnt let them date people of color. Then another girl raised her hand and said that her grandma said she couldnt date me. See those things wouldnt be so bad and all but i was the only minority in that classroom and one of the few in the school. Little would i know that hearing those words would scar me up to well about last night. You see after that point i became semi-fearful not only of white fathers but also white women. Sure i dated here and there but i never felt safe i always felt like i had to put on a show because I already was considered less. Those scars haunted me until last night and today when i spoke about the hurt i held in my heart. Today i shared that story with my whole group and the peace of God came over me. You see i have met an amazing girl who i hope to marry someday but parts of my heart were still guarded because of fear of not being good enough. But to her and her family i am Brian Zimmer, a man who wants to find meaning in life. Through dating her I have never felt so safe with not only her but also her family. God truly blessed me because when i am with them i feel as though i am part of the family. Thats the kind of peace i want everyone of color to feel, because no one should ever have the same scars and fears that i carried for 10 years of my life. I want my brother caleb to have the same peace, i want my beautiful sister abby to be free to date anyone of different races and not be judged. Because my siblings to me are my best friends and anyone who thinks they are not worthy enough truly have not sat down with them and see the same love that i see in each of them!

deliverance!

anyone who doesn't believe in the power of prophesy and healing should have been in our lecture today! Half way through our lecture our speaker stopped and asked if anyone wanted prayer? I went forward not knowing what to expect. All a sudden he says he sees me standing in the middle with chains all around me, but he saw me carrying a huge sword and me cutting off the chains all around me! he says i am a deliverer and i am to be a deliverer for others! i believe he was right on because all my life I wondered why I went through so much trials and its all coming together, because i am going to be used by God to deliver hope in not only the classrooms but also institutions about cultural awareness. I feel as though GOd is going to have me educate people on how to give hope to cultures of students and adults who feel inferior to others! I have always wanted to speak and preach and after that prophetic word i realized my calling is becoming more and more clear. So pray that i can keep hearing and following God's voice!

Also while i was getting prayed over my leader said brian God wants to take the yoke of your shoulders! i have been carrying the load for people all my life i feel, and God told him to tell me that Jesus was going ot carry it for me! soon as i accepted that i started laughing and crying in the spirit! God is good all the time!

God's love

We were having morning worship today and God impressed something upon my heart. I had a vision of me sitting down in a crowd of people and looking down, and Jesus came walking up to me. He said " may i have this dance I want to show you something". He took me into his presence and clothed me with worthiness. He overwhelmed me with his love. I want to love the exact same way i felt when Jesus was dancing with me. That means i want to serve and bless not only my family,hillary, and friends. But also anyone i come into contact with! John 13 shows the best example of being a servant. I believe God wants all of us to feel that sense of worthiness and love. So that verse i read earlier in Genesis affirms that we should love and be loved just as Christ did and does.

in his image

Today during meditation i felt like God impressed this following verse upon my heart. "So God created man in his own image(perfect,flawless,bold,beautiful,confident,alike) in the image of God he created them(worthy,glorious) male and female he created them"(everyone) Genesis 1:27. To me it just shows me that I should be walking in confidence. In today's society it seems like we are always trying to find the new fashion trends or wondering what people might think. People struggle with feeling worthy and beautiful. Well all those fears are lies from the devil, for Genesis say we are all created by God therefore let us feel worthy, and take confidence in the cross and love of God. Walk boldly for the kingdom of God, for we are children and co-laborers.

fathers day

Today is father's day as many of you know, but today i am well quite far away from my dad. I know in proverbs it talks highly about respecting your fathers and also that fathers should train the children the right way. Today i miss Randy Zimmer, because over the years he has not only become a great dad,leader, but also a great friend! When i was younger i just viewed him as someone who loves me, but we didnt always see eye to eye, but God changes all things for those who seek him. Over the past couple years God has developed our relationship into something special. I remember a couple times i texted him saying I want my kids to be just like him and he always said "no you dont" but see my dad is a humble man as many of you know but he is also a godly man. Every sunday when i am home i look over at him and i often see him praising God with all his heart. That passion is the same passion i want for my life and anyone i bless. For 22 years he prayed that i would dream and become the man of God he always saw me becoming. Well daddy i am here in YWAM and i think your prayers are getting answered. I love you daddy they say i have a biological dad which is true, but to me Randy Zimmer your the one and only true dad.

children of promise

God has always wanted to talk to his children in Christ. I am starting to realize how much God has been wanting to dream with me! God is putting on my heart children at risk. But i think of them as children of promise. Because each child of God has the potential to impact the world no matter their background! I mean take my siblings and I. My parents had a heart to adopt four african americans, and I love them for that. Well i feel as though God wants me to take that love and hope and pour out my love to each child I come across. When we take the time to love one another we start to realize that God's heart is being touched. For God commanded us to love one another! Well i can see myself in missions, but i do no what that will look like, but right now its ok. Because my heavenly father is taking me on a adventure to seek out his heart! Pray for me that I can continue to impact a generation. Also pray for my sister abby, because I feel as though abby is going to become a leader. I been praying and everyone time I pray for her I get tears of joy, because she knows how to touch hearts with her beautiful smile. Pray also for my YWAM team that we may carry God's love to tijuana and beyond

MEXICO

today was an experience! We all went to a house to watch mexico play in the world cup, and let me tell ya that was an experience. I have no clue what half the people were saying but it was still fun just fellowshipping with brothers and sisters in Christ. We then went downtown to a museum, but on the way there are van broke! so us 4 guys are pushing a van in the busiest street. It was great because the whole town of mexico came out and started cheering MEXICO and of course we all joined in! I feel as though God is giving me a cultural experience of a lifetime. I am finding myself becoming more bold and also more outgoing.

New YWAM family

I am finally home! All my life i never truly felt like i was accepted. I always felt like i wasn't good enough. My siblings and I have overcome a lot of obstacles when it comes to the issues of race. However, my new friends in YWAM see no color, instead they see brian Zimmer a friend who wants to experience God. Here we fellowship and act like there is no concerns in the world. We worship, laugh, hangout, and just enjoy friendship. Tonight we went to Starbucks and i haven't felt this accepted in a long time. I am not saying i am not accepted back home but here all my friends are of different races! We all have shared our horror stories, but we also have been sharing how we must all unite as one. God has been doing so much healing already through my YWAM Family, and i love it. I still miss my siblings, parents, friends, and of course hillary! But for the next 5 months these people here our the ones who are going to impact me, and we our going to impact a generation with God's help! It is so powerful worshiping here with everyone. When we all come together and worship in our native tongue it is like a little bit of heaven. For when we get to heaven we will here worship from all different countries!

quiet time

quiet time

Quiet time

1. Meet with him.

-designate a time in your spirit when you’re going to meet him.

-establish a quiet place (be intentional)

2. Quiet your spirit (psalms 46:20)

3. Don’t show up to do something; show up to be there.

-it’s like a dating relationship or marriage, your there to get to know your heavenly daddy.

--turn concerns into a conversation

4. Look for God in your day

-ask him to show his presence throughout the day

-take note of thing

5. Make his word your best friend

“God sees exactly what happened, we are not to act. For God will act when ready”

6. Anticipate a journey. (Psalms 111:6)

earthquakes

today last night i experienced my first earthquake, granted it wasn't a huge one. But it reminded me life can be full of little earthquakes. We need to love the little thing in life. That way God can entrust with us the big things. Sometimes we look for the big things, but in the little things ones miracle can be found. Today we had more testimonies, and there have been some powerful ones. I experienced the lost of my best friend, but hearing my friends testimonies realized my life hasn't been that bad. I found myself saying Lord if i am going to be experiencing more little earthquakes, teach me to see your glory through them.

testimony day

today each student was asked to share his or hers testimony. I always look forward to hearing what God does in others and how peoples trials are not always different from mine. God promises us that we will receive power when the holy spirit falls on us! Today the holy spirit did just that! I was able to speak about Gods power and grace. I talked about growing up struggling with racism and isolation. I also talked about the loss of jon, and how God used his death to bring healing to me and my family. I started sharing about my family and when i got to talking about my little sister abby i broke into tears. For Abby Zimmer is my hero and role model. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" Abby has done just that for me through her prayers and belief that one day her brother would truly find God and take risks. Well her prayers are getting answered and praise be to God! Through her i realized that people are always watching me, and that I need to live a lifestyle that most resembles Christ! Christ said "be holy, because I am holy"

Provisions!

Well before I even arrived God was already providing! Someone on the plane next to me asked me why i was going to San Diego, and so i told him. Someone behind me must have heard i was going on a missions trip, because when i was sleeping i felt a tap on my shoulder from behind and someone wrote me a letter with a bunch of verses about peace and God's provisions. It just shows how amazing a gracious God is. SO far my group is awesome and my leader has the same passions that i do! I am still missing home a little but I know if God is for me who can be against me! Also I always wanted to learn spanish because i knew that it would help me in the classroom. So what does God do? I am assigned with two roommates and neither of them speaks english well. so i am teaching them english and they are teaching me spanish!

We Shall Overcome

Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." This is the God's hope for everyone of us that we would proclaim the goodness of Christ wherever we go! I will not be going alone for I will have the power of the Holy Spirit empowering me to overcome my weaknesses."For I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens Me" Philippians 4:13. The devil has no claim to my life nor my mind, I don't have time for his schemes. By Gods grace and mercy a perfect God has rescued a imperfect child, and I finally am realizing why God allowed me to face so many trials. Trials of adoption, racism, depression, and death of Jonathon Mark Bonnema. But through God's amazing power those are all testimonies of overcoming!

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"

Philippians 4:13

June 2

I am cannot believe that about a week from now I will be on my way to Tijuana, Mexico for about 5 months. Ever since I got my acceptance letter from YWAM I have had a lot of mixed emotions, but through it all God has remained faithful! I invite you all to come along with me on this journey as I prepare for a honeymoon with God!